The other day, it happened.
I was driving along on a one-lane main road, and there was a slow oil truck taking it’s sweet time in front of me. I knew it was going to turn soon, and I wasn’t in any rush. However, it was “rush hour” so apparently there were people in a hurry amongst me.
I noticed the car behind me was tailing quite close. Once the truck turned, I accelerated up to the speed limit, 40 mph. Apparently this wasn’t fast enough for the car behind me. Trying to keep my eyes on the road in front of me, I couldn’t help but notice the driver’s actions. A young woman in her 20s, the mannerisms of her head and hands and entire upper body seemed rushed and agitated. Something started to stir in me, and I became ever so vigilant of her actions. Then, all of a sudden, on this one-lane street with a train of oncoming traffic, she tried to pass me. I reacted quickly, moving over to the right as far as I could, glancing around me quickly to make sure there were no parked cars or pedestrians in my way…and then it happened.
I swore and cussed like a sailor and may have made an obscene hand gesture.
My first reaction was anger. I was enraged at this woman’s actions; at how she didn’t have the patience and therefore the compassion to think about those around her who she may have been putting in danger. This feeling – this emotion – this reaction – lasted about 15 seconds. I looked up ahead and noticed she quickly got stuck behind another car and immediately I snapped back from my mind to the present moment.
You see, being a 15 year practitioner of yoga and meditation doesn’t exclude me from being human. Somewhere along the line of our human evolution, we lost the tail (a once very useful body part!) and gained the mind. The mind has allowed us to do extraordinary things and enables us to be aware of and experience the world we live in. It allows us to think, to create, to plan, to reason…and it also allows us to have very strong emotions. Emotions are such a normal part of life and can be very useful. Emotions help us to release pent-up feelings. They help us relate to one another in times of sorrow or joy. They allow us to be honest with how we are feeling and deal with certain things that come up in our lives. But becoming our emotions is where we must draw the line.
We all need to have emotions to deal with the ups and downs of life. They’re what make us human. But have you ever noticed that person you see every day at the store who is consistently sad? Or that “friend” on social media who is eternally happy and then if something doesn’t go her way falls into a deep depression? These are instances of becoming your emotions.
Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh mentions in one of his writings that we all have emotions that “live in the basement of our consciousness”. Some of these are good emotions like mindfulness and love and some are negative emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, etc. Many times we try to suppress these emotions by avoiding them, not dealing with them and distracting ourselves from them but what we have to do instead to diminish the suffering that is caused by them, is to “give them a mindfulness bath” every day.
Coming to your yoga mat will do that. Practicing loving-kindness to yourself and others will do that. Paying attention to your breathing will do that. And that’s exactly what I did in the car the other day. My reaction quickly reminded me that I have a breath that allows me to come back to the present moment. It reminded me not to let emotions and the actions of others take over my entire day…that I have THIS MOMENT to come back to over, and over and over again.
Try it sometime.
Maybe it’s paying attention to the inhale and exhale of your breath that helps to anchor you to the present moment. Maybe it’s repeating a mantra such as “So hum” or perhaps one in english: “I am”. Maybe it’s just being aware of physical sensations in your body and calling attention to them: “Breathing in, I feel tension in my neck – Breathing out I release this tension.”
Students of my yoga and meditation classes often tell me that they feel so great in class but as soon as they leave, they no longer know how to focus their mind – control their emotions.
Practice.
Driving in the car is a great place to start. The next time you are at a red light or are stuck behind a slow oil truck, start to be aware of your breathing. Start to notice your surroundings. Start to be conscious of physical sensations. The next time someone tries to cut you off, I invite you to observe yourself and how long it takes you to come back to the present moment. May your 15 seconds become ten…and then five.
I quickly wished that wherever this young driver needed to be was worth it.
I wished that her karma treated her fairly.
And I wish for you to enjoy and always come back to all of your present moments…the only moment that ever has, and ever will, exist.
Om namah
Jennie
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