There are many benefits from a steady practice in meditation and yoga. I’ve practiced and taught many different kinds of meditations including body scans, self-inquiry, focusing on the breath, the power of now, and all help with bringing our mind to a one-pointed focused state. However one type of meditation that I find is accessible to most people and see a huge benefit from is meditating on Loving-Kindness.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu is a mantra meaning, “May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.”
The other day I was going to a doctor’s appointment with my 2-month old…to an office where they’re used to seeing pregnant women, mothers and babies on a regular basis. Of course, because I have a 2-month old, things sometimes come up at the last minute that you have to deal with including not but limited to: spit-ups, crying tantrums, explosions in diapers, car seat struggles, stroller issues….(need I say more?). Needless to say, on this particular day, we were a tad bit late. Understandably so, because I was late, they had to take someone in my place but I was told I could wait. So I did.
Fussy baby needed some milk so I sat in the lobby and addressed his needs. He burped. All was good in the world.
I was called in within no time, baby and stroller in tow, and used the bathroom. (Nurse’s orders.) This nurse was all business. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was upset that I wasn’t on time. Maybe she hated her job. Either way, I just took note of her overall stern demeanor.
Kiddo strolled in with me to the John. All of a sudden, he had a funny look on his face. One I’ve never seen before. I decided to pick him up before I hit the can. Not 2 seconds later, an avalanche of milk projected from his sweet little lips, onto mommy’s clean new shirt and all over the bathroom floor. Sweet. Was I gonna rush out and tell someone that I needed help or that I was going now be a few MORE minutes late? No. I stayed calm. I made sure my kid felt okay. I cleaned everything up with paper towels. I sat down to give the nurse her sample. The sample that then spilled all over the floor. I cleaned up the sample.
I calmly strolled back to the room to let the nurse know what just had happened, that I did the best I could, but someone might need to pay special attention to that bathroom this evening, and that I had no sample for her. She became irate. Her face turned bright red and she raised her voice and said something rudely to me which I won’t repeat here.
“Ma’am – I’m just telling you what happened – I understand you have other patients and I’m happy to come back another time.”
She mumbled something else and shuffled out and closed the door. I sat, waiting for my doctor, and cried.
My beautiful, loving, kind and understanding doctor came into the room with a slight smile on her face and when her eyes met mine, her face filled with compassion. She had wanted to see me and see how I was doing. She held my baby. She reiterated that she needed to get to her other patients but that she wanted to see me so to please reschedule the appointment soon.
I had felt bad that my baby was rushed around with me from place to place. I had felt bad that he screamed in the lobby, wanting his lunch. I had felt bad that I was late for my appointment, I had felt bad that he got sick in the bathroom. And I had felt bad that I couldn’t give the nurse what she needed.
There is a story that the Dalai Lama told about a monk who escaped a Chinese prison after spending 18 years in captivity. The monk said “There were times when I faced danger.” The Dalai Lama asked “What kind of danger?” And the monk responded, “there were times where I almost lost compassion for the Chinese.”
I certainly wasn’t tortured and I’m sure the nurse had no mal-intentions. But the difference in how the nurse and doctor made me feel was night and day.
Lama Zopa Rinpoche is quoted as saying:
“All the peace and happiness of the whole globe, the peace and happiness of societies, the peace and happiness of family, the peace and happiness in the individual persons’ life, and the peace and happiness of even the animals and so forth, all depends on having loving kindness toward each other.”
There are times when you might feel that someone does not deserve your compassion. But it just might turn their day around for the better.
Jennie, I love you! Sorry this happened to you, I admire your grace.
Jenny, what a great story! I laughed and cried with you. And yes, did it remind me to stay in my heart while others march on, lost in their grief. Everything is about the children, there is no point otherwise. You are a beautiful Mother and your baby chose you and your “soccer daddy”. I miss the smell of baby vomit on clean clothes…xo
We should all strive to have the same outlook on life as you do, Jennie. The world would be a better place